Still

Back to Ahmadi, again!, to avoid the madness, this time through 9ab7an,
there was something in the still distance of the ever yellow desert,
water was over flowing from the ground,
and a pool was forming as the water kept on pouring from that square hole,

I wanted to call 777 to tell them about it, so they can come and do something, but I didn’t, remembering few incidents with the “defenders of the weak” made me think of all possible excuses not to call, I came up with a couple:

What if by the time they arrive “if ever” the water finish!! ey’7ali9 and with our sun, it will be dried in no time, if I get to make those people come here without finding any thing they’d probably charge me with “ez3ag solo6at” !! mesakien I made them move!!!

It’s happening in the desert why can’t I let the poor land drink some water, it must be really thirsty

By the time I’ve reached the second excuse I’ve already passed it by and without doing anything (shame on me)

…….

Walking in to the office and “he” was sitting there wearing a red polo shirt listening to M7md 3bd elwahab, Ana w el 3aZab w hawak = Me and the suffering and your love, I looked at him

“I didn’t know…”
“don’t think I’ll be in pain, not any more, I’m sending you off, for a year on the other end of the world”
“will I be back?”

I woke up, god that was scarey!!! I guess that was coming from my feeling of guilt,
If I hate someone, I believe that gives them the absolute right to hate me back, but to love me as I hate them, that is just unfair,
I was asking god that eysa’7rah ley
Bas ‘7ala9, 6ofart minah, athaney
And there is no way I can think of or imagine to deal with this person!!!

My work has a great area in my life, and as he exists in it, then he exists in my life,
Oh my god what can I do??!!?!? ;-(

……

Taking cautious steps and searching for them, looking in to the faces of woman, spreading around setting on the floor, in front of each a plastic cup of water and few dates, some would have a piece of bred others would hold in there hands leaves of ray7an, and it’s so calm, I can’t hear what they say as if it’s a still picture,
Young women holding their child to their breasts,
Old women setting quietly leaning to the grand columns,
Some women would go around to give, water, food, a smile
It’s time now, I couldn’t find them, I walk back to my place,

Standing by my side, I hear a trembling voice, a cry and a prayer, I can hear what she is asking, I know what she is praying for and my heart cries with her a silent cry, pleading for her daughter, may god answer your prayers dear mother…

And we pray,
with each movement, I hear the clouds moving,
the sound when they are racing before a storm,
and it’s glory alarms my heart, in an instant tranquility, and I blend in…

Hands reaching, grapping the black fabric, holding, unyielding, it’s so great and powerful, beyond sound, beyond tears, I see the cry in their tightened hands

Cheers,
O

The Signal Journal days 6 to 7

First Day fo6or

In a room with a dozen people, sitting in a chair right next to Yehia, holding a mug of tea and laughing,
An hour before I and Ayad arrived to Yehia’s home, he invited us for fo6or, came to pick us with his fiancé and there we where, meet with his sisters and mom and right after us the rest of his family, aunts, uncles and cousins started to arrive

After a brief weather conversation, a typical stranger’s topic, it was time to have fo6or,
I must say it’s very similar to the one we have in Kuwait,
Break our fast with dates, followed by soup and then food, lots of food :D

As I was sipping my soup, I felt a chock up my throat, so sudden and strong sadness that hit me, I’m not with my family, I could have braked crying right there and then but I had an other sip, swallowed my soup and with it my cry…

Now standing by the table taking food Yehia’s mom saw my plate and without asking took it from me and wouldn’t bring it back till it was full, of everything!!

Rice, two types of chicken, meet, ma7shey, béchamel, oh my god that was a lot, but the food was great, and I was starving :-P

After the huge feast, we prayed el ma’3reb gama3ah, my god that felt so peaceful and I felt God is taking care of me, al7mdellah

Back to the room, the comfort that comes from them is effortless, they treat you as they’ve known you for ever, and they act so natural, not stiff or pretending, easy going and can joke about any thing so fluently

Of course for me, after I stuffed my self with food, breathing and moving was a very hard thing to do, so I laid back and started listening to there conversations

Ayad was sitting in the opposite side of me, every time he would speak about the gulf country or people, he would look at me, I don’t know why, was it reassurance or inviting me to step in to the dialogue but I kept silent cause really my head was having difficulty getting blood since all of it went to my stomach,

An hour later he looked at me and gave me the signal, it’s an eye contact based signal pronouncing it’s time to leave, I want to go and you should go with me, a very stupid smile came across my face!?!? I blinked yes and off we went back to the hotel

There was a plan that I wanna go wild for few hours before I leave Cairo, my definition of going wild is, going and having so7or out, let’s just say I’m starving right now,
first of all I had a flight to catch enshallah tomorrow and the real first of all is I’m ‘7awafah, I don’t see how I’m going to tell my parents, you know what I went out at 11
pm and came back the next morning!! At dawn!!

Various,

I fell on my knees in the street and I hurt my left knee pretty bad, it’s swollen and blue
I spilled hot water on my fingers as I was making tea
My wisdom tooth is growing, again!!

Other than that, I’m fine al7mdellah


Second day fo6or

Sitting alone at a table in Starbucks at Dubai Airport waiting for my flight back enshallah to Kuwait
Have my fo6or on a sandwich and a Perrier, that’s pathetic

Ayad and I by pure coincidences had the same flight back, when I first stepped down from the room this morning to check out, I told the concierge I’m waiting for someone, few minutes later,

C, tela2ey 9adey2teik lessa ma 9e7yetch
M, no he is here
C, mien ? fein?
M, pointing at Ayad
C, …..

A bit later

Con, Your friend is coming!!!
Maha’s head, eshme3na hathy el jomlah bel tha_at in English? Miste7ey etgooly 9a7bik is coming???

At the Airport

The guy who carries the bags

The Guy, Dah gowzik?
M, No
The Guy’s face, a dirty smile!!!
Maha’s head, WHAT THE HELL!!!!

That’s the thing in all Arab society; you can either be married or be a Bitch and her Bastred, people with rotten minds!!!

The true element that creates the moment is human actions, I must say that I’ve been very fortunate in this trip that the human element of it was great, nice people, good company and simple

And for me, it was so natural and 3ady, before when I get to travel with guys at work, I hardly remember any of them being Arab, and I thought maybe that’s why it’s very natural and easy to be with them, but even this time it felt the same and much better given that we speak the same language and understand each other better, I did enjoyed his company, but purely as a friend, shame it had to stop right there and then as we said good bye and each walked in his own path in life

The End

Cheers,
O

Update,

Perfect moment, 19:45

if any of our actions would have been delayed by a fraction of second we would have missed each other, if I stopped for one more second checking the bags or if I looked the other way or someone would pass right in front of me, but nothing of that has happened, as I was walking to my gate a figure emerged ascending from the escalator, and there I was face to face with him, again :’) guess it’s not so dramatically final, as long as it’s destined for our paths to cross, then it shall be…

*Dem3ah Journal Days 3 to 5

Thinking, “Oh Shit, I don’t have time to have breakfast and walk to the office” wait a minute woman, it’s Ramadan!!

Having my First Ramadan Day away from home,

No “what are you cooking for today?” or “what’s for desert?” or “fighting with my brothers over the remote”

It doesn’t feel like it ….

@ work, I’m sooo pissed to a point that I might get paralyzed, any ways, after going there and waiting for 55 minutes and spending an hour and a half to get a response, the reaction was in slow motion!! As I was about to complete that project from hell and get rid of it, guess what??

What could happen to me? Miss Maha or should I say miss Fab Luck Queen?
The fire alarm turns on!!!

Important note 1, the PFH should have been submitted yesterday
Important note 2, we are located at the 12th floor

So here we are an entire building rushing down the stairs for 12th floors, crossing two streets and waiting in the parking lot, I was having a nervous break down, while others around me where pausing to take photographs!!!

I’m now back again to my dear laptop, 30 minutes later, anyways enough of this crap, I sent it and enshallah, ya raby ya 7abyby fokiny min hal low3at el chabd,
2 minutes later, my client wants to see me on Sunday
and my #$?!!#. Want me to work on Saturday!!
I had only one replay, Man my traveling time is 10 Hours, and I happen to be fasting and the entire last week was … I don’t want to even talk about it, it’s exhausting


On an other note

My Diners for the past couple of days,

Monday, Friday’s since it’s located in a walking distance from the hotel
Tuesday, Abu el Seid that place was IMPRESSIVE!!! An old Arabisk style villa in a quite neighborhood, you can easily mistake it for a house, the atmosphere is so comfy and warm, every thing was screaming, you are in Egypt of the last century, chandlers, seating of old style sofa and the tables, every thing was just as it should be, perfect, the food was all Egyptian traditional menu of doves and rabbits, LoooL :D
I didn’t eat any of that stuff, I had molo’7eyah bel fera’7 and white rice, that was sooo delicious, coming from a very picky food person, after that it was fallowed by tea and mahalabeyah, leaving the food aside the company was great, I laughed so hard :D
They say that this place started to open branches; I guess if it opens in Kuwait, it would be a great hit

Wednesday, Grand Hyatt, seating by the Neil the weather now is getting chilly
We stayed there talking for hours, basically me and Ayad where pitching to every one about our hypocrite societies and how we have become victims of the “transitional period” as Ayad likes to call it
I didn’t think that far in to the future before, any ways I’ll talk about this in detail later enshallah

For now, I’m just saying that I did have a good time

The thing is on the way to the hotel, we got lost and all the sudden we where inside a street in a 7arah!!! I thought that it only existed in the movies, but no I was there and I saw the gahwah and the tiny streets and all the other surrounding shops oh my god, that was something

So until now I’m not sure where I’m going to have fo6or for tonight…

Anyways,

Mbarak 3likom el Shahar o 3asakom min 3awadah

Cheers,
O

*Dem3ah: basically its Daqoos!!

P.S. A warm Congrat’s to my Angel Maryam for her new job :D may Allah bless you and eywafgich my SunShine :*

*Genuine **Borio - Journal days 1 to 2

I woke up and there I was in the back seat of a taxi in the middle of two men shouting at each other

El Shawyesh: ma te2darsh et3adey min hina, mamno3!!
Sawa2 el taxi: ya3ney eyh? Da ana bashta’3ala …..

I looked at the taxi driver and told him to just stop any where and let me get out of here

I arrived there few hours ago, and there I found my self back in Egypt, last time I was there I believe was in 2002 where I stayed in Cairo for a night to catch my flight back to Kuwait

I was successful to block the memories of that land for the past 5 years, but now every thing came rushing back

It’s not hate what I have for that place; I can’t tell what it could be…

We arrived late but some how because they’ve changed the timing we were actually 15 mints early

Getting out of the airport was very smooth, al7mdellah, arriving to the hotel showering, getting dressed and then off we went to Grand Hayatt, the place to be in Cairo on a Friday night

Setting by the Nile, boats where passing by, the weather is cool, and I ask my self again, what is it?
It’s heart break, the huge gap between people, it’s poverty, excruciating poverty and after you have your big meal in a fancy place you step out and there you see it with your own eyes,

Next morning, going around the city fetching for stuff, of course unsuccessfully, the things you see out there on the street are quite original,

Sign reads; “Doctor Decent Excellent” you start to wonder if Doctor is his occupation or name

We arrived to the boat where we are supposed to have launch,
a flash back; “6 years ago a little boy selling flowers emerged out of no where it was so sudden that my mom screamed “’7ara3tney” and he replayed “ya3ney eyeh ‘7are3teney?” I think he was 5 years old”
finished launch and as I was reaching for the Taxi door a boy emerged right in front of me selling flowers, an other Egyptian guy came and sent him away,
In the taxi, the thought that this boy could be the same boy years ago scares me… could it be?

Looking from the window, to the Nile shore, it’s like lovers spot
I’m starting to build a theory that romanticism flourish near rivers!! Around every corner you’ll find two seating together holding hands, talking and facing the river,

The entire population has an engagement / wedding ring, even that flower boy who could be a 12 year old!!

I’m in the bath room now just about to step in the bath tube to take a shower when the phone started ringing, covered with a towel went out there to answer it;

Maha, are you a sleep?
No
How are you?
Fine, who is this?
Ayad, “the guy with me in the course”
And we continued talking, in English??

After I hang up

Mom, who was that?
Maha, Ayad
Mom, what did he say?
Maha, he asked me out for dinner, and I said no
Mom, What!!! Why let him come and have dinner with us!!
Maha’s head; if we where in Kuwait and someone whom I’ve never met calls me up and you answer and hand it over to me “I’m not even commenting on that” to ask me out for dinner and I say no, you’d kill me either way!!

In the taxi again, window open, variety of
Smells; Donkey
Garbage
Manure
Dust particles that would actually cause you an injury while smashing to your face
Water particles which I don’t want to think what other option it might be

Passing by the TV building, I still remember in the “fawazier” where Nielly would be dressed in purple, she used to wear it as a hat

Setting next to me now a little 3 year old girl golden logs blue eyes, when I speak to her she doesn’t understand a word I say, so for the first time since I came here I converted and started speaking Egyptian, we sat there drawing a house a tree a flower a cloud and grass, then she took the paper fold it and put it in her bag…
An a 8 year old boy join us, comes in and gives me a big hand shake a kiss on my cheek
I do love kids…

I walk by and I look at my reflection in the mirror, I’m pleased that yes my reflection is different, yes I’ve grown, I deserve it, it sure cost me a lot

In the morning, I see him setting across from me in the lobby, he didn’t see me yet, I can tell it’s him, it’s time to practice my latest formed theory about dealing with men, let him make the first move, always

We are now setting together talking, no spark, an other theory, since I’ve dealt with guys before, I’m waiting for the moment when I meat a guy and there would be a spark, I can totally differentiate between relationships I can have with a guy, but for that special someone I’d like to be involved with romantically there should be a spark

255 Emails, I have to go through them, urgent work, sure everything urgent, Mr, A#$ H0%#& who is supposed to handle things since I’m away, sends me this:

I’m confident in your ability to complete… yeah right!!

I’m so tired….

Cheers,
O

*Shop name which sells fake bags, yeah right!!
**That’s what a sign which looks exactly like Orio white and blue but here it’s Borio, laa 9ij walla kilish mo baygeynha!!!