Enshallah!!

If I wrote this yesterday after the first encounter this would be something like,

“What the heck?! What kind of a world we live in, no morals no ethics no conscious??? Blah blah blah”

And I’ll go on and on loaded with anger and frustration, acting as if I was a sleep and suddenly woke up, tartata, and found my self in Kuwait!!
As if I didn’t spend the last quarter of a century in this land
As if it never happened before and I never heard of it
As if evil has JUST reveled it self

You know what now after I calmed down a bite, mo meny but from lack of sleep and self starvation followed by a continues state of food fag3ah,
I know if I wrote that and posted it, it would be “shame on me”
Walla min 9iji shino hal amnesia walla hal hallucination that I have about people and this country?!
It would be that I’m kidding myself and having myself in a constant state of denial

Grow up woman, yes people lie, yes people cheat and hell yes their motto is “I and after me comes the Flood”

Now days that’s what they call common sense, hatha el 6abey3ey, what’s wired and what’s shocking is to find someone who’d act differently and that’s either called naive or safyeh!!

You only get to live this life once and I no matter what the gains or the “stuff” that I may get, I’d rather not live that life at all if it was in those people brains, al7mdellah I’m me, when I think of it those who may sound on the outside successful and getting what they want in that way, then Thanks but no thanks, keep your things to you I don’t want it that way, I happen to have something called conscious, probably you haven’t heard of it!!

I’d ask my self why? and I’d answer, cause they are week and sick, they are afraid and in the end only lying to them selves and it’s easy so easy to do that
You can lie, you can scream, you can swear, you can cheat, you can pick the phone and get your big W
It’s no brainier and not that hard, I and an 8 year old can do the same
But guess what I choose not to, I choose to do things right even when that’s defined in this time and age as stupidity, I choose to not lower my self to that level
And that is hard; what’s easy is to be you...

It’s easy to be 7ayawan but the hard thing is to be Ensan
You made your choice and I’ve made mine

Today is my two years work anniversary, so I’m at two years old in the real world, and I am happy that what ever I faced didn’t swallow me in on the contrary it only made me stronger

Al7mdellah,
O

How election results in Turkey can effect our 7gab style in Kuwait?

انقرة (ا ف ب) - توصف خير النساء غول التي يتوقع ان تصبح السيدة الاولى في تركيا هذا الاسبوع بانها سيدة مرحة وانيقة تتجنب الاضواء الا ان الحجاب الذي يغطي رأسها جعل منها شخصية مكروهة من قبل العلمانيين المتشددين
ويعرف عن خير النساء (42 عاما) انه سيدة متدينة تحرص على اداء الصلوات الخمس يوميا. وهي زوجة وزير الخارجية عبد الله غول الذي اصبح من المؤكد انتخابه رئيسا للبلاد الثلاثاء
وتقول خير النساء ان حجابها الذي يكرهه المعارضون باعتباره رمزا لتحدي النظام العلماني هو خيار شخصي يجب احترامه
ويعتبر حجابها من القضايا الرئيسية التي اثارها المعارضون لترشيح غول رئيسا للبلاد والذي اثار ازمة سياسية حادة مطلع هذا العام بين الحكومة ذات الجذور الاسلامية والجيش العلماني
وتفرض الدولة حظرا على ارتداء الحجاب في المكاتب الحكومية والجامعات التركية وهذا ما يجعل من الصعب على العلمانيين تقبل مسالة دخول خير النساء القصر الرئاسي الذي يعتبر البيت الذي يرمز لمصطفى كمال اتاتورك مؤسس العلمانية في البلاد والذي يتمتع بمنزلة خاصة في تركيا
وبحكم كونها زوجة وزير الخارجية فقد زارت خير النساء العديد من دول العالم وتقول ان حجابها لم يتسبب لها باية مشكلة في اي بلد سوى بلدها تركيا
وتؤكد خير النساء ان تدينها لا يحول دون كونها امرأة عصرية ترفض القيود المفروضة على النساء في الدول الاسلامية
وتقول "لقد كنت اوصل بسيارتي عبد الله الى عمله والاطفال الى المدرسة (...) ولا اتخيل ان اعيش في دولة لا تستطيع فيه النساء قيادة السيارات"
ولكن بالنسبة للعلمانيين المتشددين فان خير النساء تبقى مدافعة قوية عن الحجاب الذي يقولون انه يمثل تراجعا عن الاصلاحات الهائلة التي طبقها اتاتورك لتحرير المرأة
وكانت خير النساء تقدمت بشكوى الى المحكمة الاوروبية لحقوق الانسان في عام 2002 عندما رفضت جامعة انقرة السماح لها بالتسجيل فيها بسبب حجابها
الا انها سحبت الشكوى بعد ان تولى حزب العدالة والتنمية السلطة عام 2002 واصبح زوجها وزيرا للخارجية
وقالت في وقت لاحق "عندما يتم حل هذه المشكلة اريد ان ادرس في الجامعة (...) رغم تقدمي في العمر"
ولكن وفي عام 2005 ايدت المحكمة الاوروبية لحقوق الانسان الحظر على الحجاب في قضية رفعتها طالبة تم طردها من جامعة اسطنبول بحجة ان ذلك قد يكون ضروريا لحماية النظام العلماني في تركيا في مواجهة الحركات المتطرفة
وفي حال فوز غول في انتخابات الرئاسة ستصبح خير النساء سيدة المنزل الذي حظر عليها دخوله بسبب حجابها
وكان الرئيس المنتهية ولايته احمد نجدت سيزر يرفض دعوة النساء اللواتي يرتدين الحجاب الى حفلات الاستقبال التي تقام في القصر الرئاسي مما يعني انه كان ممنوعا على معظم زوجات اعضاء حزب العدالة والتنمية بمن فيهن امينة زوجة رئيس الوزراء رجب طيب اردوغان دخول القصر الرئاسي
ومثل والدتها فان ابنة غول التي تبلغ من العمر 22 عاما ترتدي الحجاب
الا انها على عكس والدتها درست في الجامعة وكانت ترتدي شعرا مستعارا فوق حجابها وهو ما تفعله الكثير من الشابات اللواتي يرغبن في الحصول على التعليم الجامعي دون التخلي عن معتقداتهن الدينية
وفي محاولة لارضاء العلمانيين طلب من مصمم ازياء تركي بارز اعادة تصميم حجاب السيدة الاولى المستقبلية بشكل "يجمع ما بين تألق هوليود وجدية وضعها الجديد"
وكانت خير النساء تركت دراستها الثانوية ولم يتجاوز عمرها 15 عاما لتتزوج من عبد الله غول الذي كان عمره 32 عاما وذلك بعد ان التقى الاثنان في حفلة زفاف في بلدتهما الاصلية قيسيري وسط تركيا. ولهما ابنان وابنة

What the #*?# ?

I got this request and at first I didn’t pay attention to the chain of emails, few days later as by chance I expanded the browser I read that Mr. Coordinator, was looking for someone other than me to do the job, but unfortunately for him, there is no one other than me in the entire country, and with his dam luck I happen to get the damn email he sent and not only to my people but he also cced it to his people!!!

my first impression was why??
I gave my clients an AA treatment put them there on the top, answered to all their needs no matter how trivial or complicated they’ve been, been nicest as I could ever been, I’m not even that with people I love!!! And I give and give and that’s what I get?!!!

I believe that god let me know about that for a reason, so this time there is no miss nice, I took the email and highlighted his stupid sentence and simply asked WHY???
I’m waiting for the answer, but no matter what it could possibly be, I’m telling you from now it’s not going to be good enough, I give my 150% 24/7 and that’s what I get??

What the hell is wrong with the people??
You do your best, and they reward you with extra work
You do your best and they reward you with hardly any appreciation what so ever
You do your best and they reward you with taking you for granted as if, what’s the big deal?

I’ll tell you what’s the big deal, the big deal when I’m gone who the hell do you think would do what am I’m doing with an oversized conscious??

I sent that I’m going for a crash course, it’s a two weeks course crashed in 5 days, and the answer would be can you work remotely??
Me Miss Stupido would say, Yes if it’s urgent
You know what, F#?*# me I truly deserve it

For those of you working in this country I suggest that they would give new employees a manual with their work ID, where it would illustrate to them what the true nature of working in Kuwait
First, Never come on time, who does that?
Second, its very important that you get proper nutrition, so take an hour or maybe two for your breakfast and if you are staying late, then how about launch?
Third, Don’t do any work, the recipe you can start by saying I don’t know and when they assign you something take a very long time to do it and do it all wrong, few years later when they assign you work again, say it’s out of my domain I have a higher experience to do these kind of things

Opps I think I better stop, I got the replay from the guy, it turned out that it was a “language issue” he wrote it wrong, I believe him, his English sucks, oh my god I’m so embarrassed, Sorry!!
And look at the irony at the same time I got a thank you email from my manager as a recognition for my contributions
Me the Hablah :-P I guess my Negative energy vibrated over the gulf spreading horror every where ; )

Cheers,
O

Answer

كيف تعيشون؟

نعيش من قله الموت

I read this answer today…
what a life those people have…
when a persons life is summarized as a cause of an absent end…
when you come across something as deeply sad as those few words…
you’d cherish the life you have and know how fortunate you are

Work Blabber

I have challenged my self to complete the project from hell, it ended up having this title since I got a "she devil" with the package, and for the fact that it ended up not as good as it started,
the thing about this new experience is that it did tested my so called "experts" and I learned few valuable lessons, first of all, always account for unexpected items in your time line definition, finish early you’ll be praised finish late you’ll be condemned, other than that with some extra time, you can fine tune your work, my style, I always complete the bulk first then start shaping and fine tuning

Second, thinking outside the box could be the answer, this time following the rules didn’t work, only when I stepped back and thought openly, that was a drastic measure for the rules most obedient person

Third, depending on others is not a good idea, in the end I’ve wasted precious time explaining for them and waiting for a replay that never come, anticipating and disappointment plus stupidity, very irritating!!

And yes heard it before couple of months ago and tested it again, I think I’m really calm, though I erupt like a volcano inside but some how, I got to leach the beast and stay very polite and calm, well guess its not too let to develop some habits :’)

In my life I have this “character” at work which I have to deal with, unfortunately, we kicked it off well, as any well behaving strangers will, but as time progresses and as we deal with each other more we ended up on opposite sides, managed to avoid each other for a very long time, but as of today I’ll have to deal with this person AGAIN!! May god give me help and serenity, to deal with this mans crap!!

I just needed to clear my thoughts; these enshallah next two weeks should be hectic, work wise,guess summer has officially done

Cheers,
O

Little things...

I can't put my finger on what's really different about today, I guess I'm free!!
Woke up early this morning, with a clear mind, light soul and full with energy, sorted out the piles of clothes that I throw around in my room while listening to music and taking dancing breaks in between,

got out of the house shopped for pillows and bed sheets, got my self a pedicure, and made a decision about my perfume dilemma; should I stay with cinema or shift to flower bomb? I shifted :') I had a smile on my face the whole time, and I said salam to strangers, that’s something, cause I always make it a battle in mind should I say it or not? Would they replay me or not? By the time I reach the second question the moment had passed already and I sink with guilt,

Today no questions or hesitations, it just didn't matter, Today it's about acting!! Madrey what could it be what caused my liberation, is it that new book? Is it about my dream having two sweet children a boy and a girl whom I was fighting for their custody and their grandfathers debating that I can't take them cause I can't speak their language!! It turned out that my kids spoke Urdu!! The father hasn't appeared in the entire dream, I really wanted to meet the guy, or that yesterday I got a gift from my brother, heart shaped necklace with my name on it, this is the third time I get this exact gift, but the other two were from my other brothers, the thought that they all got the same thing over and over again was a delight :') is it that when I thought I lost some something last night god has send me who found it without me moving a muscle or asking for help?

Walla madrey, but I feel fortunate and content Today, with my mood swings god only knows what I'll feel tomorrow, but today al7mdellah it's beautiful and just perfect, Hope every one have a great day too every day :D

Cheers,
O

Words

Selected paragraphs of a novel…

Because in the look he gives me I see my self in a way that can be written.
Otherwise what would this writing be but a kind of moaning, now high, now low?
when I write about him I write about my self,

no matter what the word, through it I stretch a hand to you. In an other world I would not need words. I would appear on your doorstep. "I have come for a visit," I would say, and that would be the end of words:

I would embrace you and be embraced. But in this world, in this time, I must reach out to you in words.

So day by day I render my self into words and pack the words into the page like sweets: like sweets for my love*.
Words out of my body, drops of my self, for you to unpack in your own time, to take in, to suck, to absorb.

As they say on the bottle: old fashioned drops, drops fashioned by the old, fashioned and packed with love, the love that we have no alternative but to feel toward those to whom we give ourselves to devour or discard.

Because that is something one should never ask, to enfold one, comfort one. The comfort, the love should flow forward, not backward. That is a rule. When a person begins to plead for love every thing turns Squalid. Yet how hard it is to sever oneself from that living touch.

Something broke inside when you asked me to stop sending to you, I felt "a constriction in my throat, a welling up of tears,

Tears not of sorrow but of sadness, A light, fickle sadness: the blues, but not the dark blues: the pale blues, rather, of far skies, clear winter days. A private matter, a disturbance of the pool of the soul, which I take less trouble to hide...

J. M. Coetzee

*Edited

7

I can not tolerate stupidity!!!

I’m supposed to receive help from an “expert” whom all I get from is waste of time and energy, it has been 7 days of back and forth consultations which I keep repeating my self, like twice a day in different style each time لعل و عسى that idiot would understand, but no تأبى المرؤه I’d better go make my self a child wait till it grows up and then ask him before my so called “expert” would give me an answer!! And after all that pain, I walla scream when I get an email from him, if there is a gage on my nerves it would have been broken since day one, on the seventh day, I get the following email,
Hi,
I am tied up this week…..
In the meantime, can you get assistance from …..?

Why the hell you haven’t said that before !?!?!?

Am I supposed to go through explaining process all over again!!!
Just shoot me

On the way home on the radio some dump مذيع was interviewing this guy about Kuwait latest earthquake, it’s a 4.3 for god’s sake, haven’t you seen what happened in Pure those poor poor people having a 7.7 degrees and 400 reversing quakes after which left 200,000 homeless, there where an entire family lives only on 5 dollars a week, here فاضين Kuwaitis made it a salfah, so the مذيع asks questions that a 10 year old would know the answer to and the guy would replay with “terms” and definitions, until the hot shot مذيع asks; what degree would be considered dangerous and distractive? Finally a sensible question, guess what was the long detailed answer about? “We are not able to forecast earthquakes” are you kidding me?!
It was a straight easy question, given that you are the “expert” I believe a simple figure should cover it, but I believe he used a method called divertion, just like my “expert” used with me to divert me, he diverted the topic so that he doesn’t have to replay “I don’t know”
Man you are on a "radio" interview we don’t "see" you, abuse the situation, google it!! I did and the answer is 7

Cheers,
O

P.S.
For further details on Earthquake Severity
Richter Earthquake
Magnitudes Effects

Less than 3.5 Generally not felt, but recorded.

3.5-5.4 Often felt, but rarely causes damage.

Under 6.0 At most slight damage to well-designed buildings. Can cause major damage to poorly constructed buildings over small regions.

6.1-6.9 Can be destructive in areas up to about 100 kilometers across where people live.

7.0-7.9 Major earthquake. Can cause serious damage over larger areas.

8 or greater Great earthquake. Can cause serious damage in areas several hundred kilometers across.

Last night...

I had a sudden feeling of discomfort some alarming cry inside of me saying that the time is passing and passing really fast and I’m no where near what I want to reach, usual symptoms of a classic panic attack,

so after squash I thought I need to take a walk by the see to clear my mind and think out loud, as I was walking I stumbled by a fishing net which cut of my string of thoughts for few minutes tell I set my self free, and then drowned back in my thoughts and worries,

as the tide was جزر in the distance I could see a cement port immerging from the water, I walked to it and I started walking inside reaching the edge looking at the black see dark and dead, I stood there thinking of the unknown of tomorrow and what tomorrow may bring,
my anxiety grew more and more so I turned back and started walking towards the shore, at that moment my thoughts has changed I become so alert and there was one though crossing my mind and it kept repeating it self “I’m not falling, I’m not falling, I’m not falling” as my face came closer and closer to the ground, Yes I slept and fall on my A** !! Lying there on that concrete floor wet and covered with traces sand, I started laughing, yes it’s my luck how can I escape it, it’s better that I just take in,

I laughed so hard that the smile stayed with me till this morning of course the fall pain is multiplied by the next day so I have a souring pain in my B*** to better describe it, you know when you get injection over there and you can’t sit? That’s exactly how it feels
I better quite worrying so much beside you never know what may cross your way, the most important thing is that you live it, cause it’s totally yours :D

Cheers,
O

Advice

I thought to my self, given the knowledge and understanding you have right now what could you have done differently in your life?

The way this question formed is that my brother got accepted in engineering :D and I need to provide him with advice as I have been entitled as the highest ranking consultants for his excellency :-P

Oh my god seven years has passed already, I’d say in my case what I came to learn in my college years is rather minimum compared to what I’ve learned and understood in my working years, but collectively I couldn’t have done one without the other

So beside the usual advice about the subjects, classes, studying, major and grades, I’d say by far relationships and communication skills is what you need to get out of that experience, in that rather limited controlled place you are allowed to meet people and have the chance to interact with them and start to learn more about human nature, in this place among the other students there is the equality factor which will disappear once you enroll in the working force as you’ll have to deal with people who unfortunately would actually have a saying on your working life whether you liked it or not

So as a person who has a gifted nature in making enemies in every place I step a foot in, my advice is develop your communication skills,
listen and listen carefully, you are still a young human what ever you think you know is still quite limited, take in all you can first and speak later,
understand the differences between humans, believe me, it’s rear that you’ll come across someone who would think the same as you are,
people understanding varies so be patient, people invented the word NO for a reason so use it,
when you have a problem speak out, consultation and advice can take you a long way,
after words the way that you present your self and your ideas and how you deal with people is your greatest asset, take my word for it, it’s more important than your certificate,
communication, debate and presentation, even if you all have the same answers, those three would make you or break you,
and finally the best place to develop leadership skills is there so maximize the value of the opportunity and make it a full learning experience

on the other hand, never, never and never neglect your relations for school always make time for human relations that really what matters and you can learn a thing or two from them

Set your priorities straight, you need to figure out for your self what matters the most in life, the only way you’d appreciate it is by finding it out by yourself

May God be with you and protect you always my Brother :*

Cheers,
Oryx

P.S. Don’t spend the next 5 years enshallah eating burgers!!

A lost life

In Victoria and Albert Museum I came a cross the following words, very sad and instantaneously touching , to think of it that she actually prepared the following verses to be engraved on the monument of her tomb

I
When the knell rung for the dying
soundeth for me
And my corse coldly is lying
neath the green tree

II
When the turf strangers are heaping
covers my breast
Come not to gaze on me weeping
I am at rest

III
All my life coldly and sadly
the days have gone by
I who dreamed wildly and madly
Am happy to die

IV
Long since my heart has been breaking
its pain is past
A time has been set to its aching
Peace come at last

E.G.W.&N.
Lady Emily Georgiana, Countess of Winchelsea and Nottingham

Knowledge

Volume 1 of 2

A friend of mine told me once that there was a recent research saying they've discovered that not only the brain has the neurons it's also found in the heart and the guts and through the research they also discovered how we humans receive information, based on the findings it says that when we first encounter information it gets transported from our senses to the heart and guts to be processed and then what's left will be moved forward to our brain, so really what ever information that gets to your mind has been purified by the heart and guts neurons, you probably have felt that before in intense piece of news that hurting feeling you get in your heart, that would also explain how when a group of people be in the same situation but each of would walk away with a different piece of information

When I was a little girl around 7 years old, I actually spent my break doing my home work, yeah yeah yeah even then I had a little geekness in me, so it happened as fallows, as I was setting by my desk a girl come and sat across from me and asked me; how come you have good grades?, one other thing I should mention she had an eye infection at that time so she looked at me with red eyes and that scared the hell out of me, I took my note book and went through the empty pages and said our brains both of us are empty, it's up to us to full them up just like these pages it's what you full them up with that makes them valued

I thought of that then and I still think of it now, to go through life you'll need and want to full your pages, and to full your pages you need others input too, and now I know that each of us holds in part of the puzzle and together we can help each other to understand

Each and every person has his his/her own special ways of looking at things and some has a continues flaw which within it you can feel them ALIVE, those precious few that I've been blessed with their company whom by their light I shall see my way more clearly….

Volume 2 of 2

Two years ago I was filling out an application for a summer job, the same old information except for one question, its says "write down three pro's and con's of Kuwaiti society" !!
Ok for the con's part the dotted spaces wasn't enough plus I was limited by only mentioning three
For the pro's, that took a while, I sat there thinking, what could it be classified as a distinct pro for the Kuwaiti society, I remember I wrote something because I really had to complete the application, but to sit down and seriously think of it I came up with the following three;

Among the rest of Arab nations we are there on the top of the rest for freedom of speech, even our glamorous neighboring Dubai their speaking rights are virtually non existing where they have no union's not even the right to strike, so that’s one
Feminine freedom, thank god for that, that’s two
I'm sorry but really I couldn't come up with a third!!, any suggestions?

Cheers,
O

Change

Girls seriously stop doing this, you are all becoming a total shame for the rest of us, at least what’s left of us, we the few others who are on the endangered species list,
In theory, as Kuwaiti females graduate from high school and college with the highest marks, a person would assume that through out generations and generations of highly educated females we would be dominant by now, at least career wise, but really I don’t get it, something happens like right after they get a job

My interpretation is that once a female has a degree and a job her total attention is shifted on getting married, and it’s true if you paid any attention what so ever to the behavioral changes in females after they get a job you can divided them mostly in two groups;

first I’d call them “the waiting” in definition those who put their lives on hold waiting for the moment they become wives and then life can resume, meanwhile they are already practicing the attitude of a 40 year old married woman with 5 kids and in their heads planning out their “future married life” to the finest detail

The other group I’d call them “the go getters” those who are out their snuffing for their prey all ready dressed up and on continues alert to jump in at all times,

Girls you are embracing us, what the hell happened to you?
You are Muslims for god’s sake doesn’t believing in destiny means any thing to you? If you are meant to be married it will happen, so quite the crap and do something of an actual worth!!!

what if you were meant to be married at 30 do you really want to go on waste a good 7 or 8 years in an empty pointless circle for either group,

I do believe that we are good enough that we have equal resources as men and probably even more, and if we can just start thinking straight our force can make a change make a difference each one in her desired filed,

alright even for those who can’t make that dramatic change, I heard all the lame excuses already, but at least I’m sure you can take 2 hours of your precious time two or three times a week and do something,

it shocks me to the core to know that a human being can spend an entire year without doing anything or even moving one step in any direction, at least, in case you don’t know the brain cells are like muscles so if you don’t train it, the poor thing, will be inactive, so please develop your brain,

alright forget the better good, don’t help others or anything, can’t you just do that to live your life as you? Don’t you want to have a character that is unique? Do you know what we are? We are individuals, there is nothing more relieving than living who you truly are, just stop being a copy of someone else and be you, don’t say I don’t know what to do or I don’t have the energy for it, figuring out what you want is part of the journey and there is nothing binding you can always change your mind

Cheers,
O

That's what I call power of well

Australian granny, 94, becomes world's oldest master

By Rob Taylor Wed Aug 1, 11:32 PM ET
CANBERRA (Reuters) - A 94-year-old Australian great-great-grandmother who quit school at 12 is said to have become the world's oldest person to earn a university masters degree.
Medical Science Masters Degree graduate Phyllis Turner, from Australia's Adelaide University, began studying for her postgraduate degree at age 90 and received her award this week.
"I feel very very happy after five years of study, but sorry that I am just a little bit immobilized," Mrs Turner, who uses a walking stick, told Australian papers.
Degree supervisor Professor Maciej Henneberg said he had been amazed by Turner's energy and dedication to study.
"Mentally she was like any other student. You couldn't tell her thinking, her enthusiasm and her interests apart from somebody who was 25. She has a lively mind," he told Reuters.
"She used to wake up at 5am in the morning and think about something, and then ring to say she wanted to check on it."
Turner left primary school at 12 to help her mother look after her siblings after her father left the family.
She returned to study almost 60 years later, enrolling at the prestigious Adelaide University to study anthropology at age 70, winning honors in 2002 before moving on to her masters.
Henneberg said Turner completed a research based paper into the anthropological history of Australia prior to European settlement and international investigations showed she was the oldest postgraduate degree recipient in the world.
"We will be trying to enter her into the Guinness book of world records, he said.